So Here We Are

And “so here we are” as my therapist says 

to open each session 

Her light Swedish lilt soothing me into a liminal state

“And how did that make you feel?” 

How did it make me feel? 

Well as the weeks went on the knife pierced less flesh 

My heart beat 1 bpm slower 

each time he appeared somewhere 

A mention of his name used to floor me 

And now it doesn’t 

The fall became a falter became a flutter

One step, in front of the other 

Away it went

And he got smaller somehow 

He dwindled & diminished 

And now I can laugh sometimes at the silliness of being afraid 

Of him! Ha ha ha 

His tiny knife, from a toolbox of pitiful tricks that only work by sleight of hand 

Shit magic that only fools the already wounded 

Those of us who walk among you half-made

But we can remake ourselves 

Slowly stitch up the parts left fraught & fraying 

And I have begun sewing suture 

Strong scars across thin skin 

Thread thick enough to never come undone. 

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